Monday, February 20, 2012

Wherein I urgh

Depression can kiss my lily white ass. I haven't been around here lately because of it. I sleep all day. I'm awake, for the most part, between 3 and 11pm. Most of that time is spent laying in bed because I feel so tired. I don't wanna do anything. I don't want to talk to anyone. I force myself to go to the gym, take my kids to karate and dance. I try to focus on what  EM is saying to me, but it's hard. I feel like crying for no apparent reason. I'm not hungry, but I eat everything in site. I don't want to play with my dogs. I look around the house and see all the things that need to be done, but I can't work up the energy to do them. I don't care that The Boy is eating chicken nuggets. Again. I don't wanna cook. I don't want to do anything but lay in my bed, feeling sorry for myself, hating myself for being overweight, hating myself for not being the wife/mother/daughter/sister my family thinks I should be.
I hate these days. I hate these feelings. The drugs make it better than it could be, but some days it's still not enough.
I'm gonna go hide under the covers some more. Maybe the bastard won't find me there.

5 comments:

  1. Oh, dear heart. :( I know this feeling well - the apathy and fatigue are what do me in, too. Sending you buckets of love.
    xoxo

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  2. That fucking sucks.  I know that place too and it is the worst.  Much love and hopes that you come through it soon.

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  3. Ugh. I know the feeling, girl! Hang in there. 

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  4. ~arm around your shoulders~ We're in the same boat this day...week...month..and it blows. I'm sorry.

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  5. I love you so much friend. Hang in there, I know it is so tough. And maybe this post will help? I found some help in reading it during some tough times a while ago- http://thebloggess.com/2012/01/the-fight-goes-on/

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