All you ever wanted to know about underwear

Also titled:What you never wanted to know about AnnaBella's underwear. Your choice.
Link up!

What's your favorite underwear you own? -
Oh, the soul-searching questions! I think I'd have to say my BUNCO, BRITCHES!! (There's an inside joke there...)

What's the worst pair of underwear you own? -

Hmm, really dirty ones? That's nasty.

What's the most embarrassing underwear you own? -

Dirty ones.

What's your favorite color of underwear? -

Clear. *waggles eyebrows*

What color underwear will you not wear? -

Thongs. Oh, that's not a color? Suck it.

What's your favorite underwear on a member of the opposite sex? -

Banana hammocks

What underwear do you hate seeing on a member of the opposite sex? -

Ones that remind me of my dad's *shudder* 

Have you ever lost your underwear while out somewhere? -

Lost intentionally or unintentionally? The answer is- I don't recall.

Have you ever found someone's underwear while out somewhere? -

Ew. No. Thank Jesus. However, my friends and I once saw a random swimsuit lying on the ground in the middle of a public park.

How often do you buy new underwear? -

Whenever I see a cute pair, so a lot

Do you buy underwear for anyone but yourself? -

Yes, yes I do. Three boys and a number of my girlfriends, if the spirit strikes me. Ya know, the spirit of underwear giving. It's kinda like holiday spirit, but more underweary.

Where do you like to buy your underwear? -

Not thrift stores.

Do you have a favorite brand of underwear? -

The cute kind

Is there anywhere you refuse to buy underwear? -

Thrift stores.

Do you own any novelty underwear? -

What does that mean? Edible or remote control vibrating ones? Surprisingly, no. I have some with no "middle" if you know what I mean. *waggles eyebrows*

Have you ever bought novelty underwear for anyone? -

I bought my husband some banana hammocks. Don't tell him you know that.

Have you ever worn someone else's underwear? -

Yes. Do you need me to go into specifics?

Has anyone else ever worn your underwear? -

Yes. Do you need me to go into specifics?

What type of underwear do you wear most? -

Clean ones. Unless I'm drinking at bunco, then accidents may happen........

Is there any kind of underwear you refuse to wear? -

Didn't I answer this already? Oh wait, that was what color. Ok, same answer- thongs.

These are my Bunco Britches.

Another Friday Fluff

Link up with Seeking Elevation for some fun Friday Fluff! AnnaBella has graciously agreed to help me out with these. She's awesome.

Be a poison tester or suicide bomber?
Um, how about neither? Seriously, I don't know why I have to choose...

Fat and short or fat and tall?
I see a theme here. Neither!!! Fat and tall, though, because you can fix fat. You can't fix short.

Wet and cold or dry and hot?
If I'm hot, I'm certainly not dry. I sweat more than any one person should, so I'll say wet and cold.

Vampire or a cat?
WTF?? In what context??? If it's in my bed, then VAMPIRE. If it's a pet... gee, I'd take either.

Be george lopez or brad pitt
Damnit, wtf?? NEITHER! I guess if I was a man- Brad Pitt. Duh.

Eat sand or dirt?
Isn't sand dirt? How about a steak?

Be 30 or 1 - 16!
Ok, I guess I'd go with 1 because then I'd get to relive all the years of my life.

Pro skater boarder or singer?
Singer, easy answer. Next!

Eat metal or bugs?
Who thought of these questions?? Bugs. At least they're digestable!

Be a monkey or wolf man
Umm, I'd say wolf girl. Like Leah.

Work at google or bing?
 Who cares? It would totally depend on the job and the pay. If Google offers me a mailroom position at $8/hr and Bing offers me a CEO position for $120K a year, guess which one I'd choose...

Make a board game or video game?
Since I have no video game creation skills, I guess board game

Mini cooper or mustang
 If we're playing the "I just jumped off my unicorn and ran through a field of money trees" game, I'll say Mustang. Because if I can afford that, I can afford the gas for it.

Dead or alive
 Seriously? Who wrote this? Can I punch them? ...If I can be undead in the vampire persuasion, then dead. Geez...

Singer or actor
Both. Suck it.

Friday Fluff

Instead of me, today you get AnnaBella's Fluff! Go over to Seeking Elevation and link up!

Do you think that gay marriage should be legal?
Um, is hetero marriage legal? Oh, it is? Then YES. Duh.

Do you think that gays should be allowed to serve in the military?
 They do, duh. If they want to defend me, I'm all for it.

What do you think about people who don't believe in god?
It depends on the person and their beliefs and whether or not they try to force those beliefs on me. God is bitchin.

Are you pro life or pro choice? 
Pro-life. Not soapboxin', just saying- it's a baby.


Do you think we should test on animals? 
Test what on animals??? Like a Spanish exam? Eres un animale? Que tipo? Te gusta Suave o Tresemme?

How do you feel about illegal immigration?
I think if it's illegal, then it's ILLEGAL. Make it legal and I'll like it. See how that works? News flash-- illegal means it's not legal!

Do you think it is ethical to do stem cell research?
 Um, I don't really know how that works, but ethics could be interesting...

Should we get rid of the death penalty?
No. It's funny you should ask me that... I can't wait to get my people hunting license... should I not put that on the interwebs?

Is torture ever acceptable? 
Yes. Like when I embarrass my kids. That's just fun.

Should the government have a say on our diets?
What do you mean? Is the government talking about my diet behind my back?? That bitch!

Should the alcoholic drinking age be increased or decreased?
I think it should stay the same, but folks really need to work on moderation education. Be responsible... comingfrom a girl who drinks a whole bottle of wine alone. But at least I don't drive!!

Should cigarette smoking be banned?
Yes. It's disgusting, it kills, it smells horrible, and smokers say the dumbest things to justify it. Shut your tobacco-stained pie holes.

AnnaBella is going to be taking over the Friday Fluff for me-she's much snarkier than I am!

Friday Fluff

It's Friday Fluff time again! Go to Seeking Elevation and grab a quiz and let the snark and sarcasm fly!

Do you think people are good?
At what? Being people? Some people are great at being people. Others? Not so much.

Do you like meeting people?
Depends on the situation. Random people on the street are kinda creepy. I do like meeting new friends, though!

Do you shake hands?
Yes. I'm not rich enough to not shake hands. When I get that first million-never again!!

Is a good handshake important?
Um. Yes? I'm not really a big business person, so I think the offer is important. EM will tell you it's rude not to shake hands.

Do you get along with the oposite sex?
Mostly, yes. One of my best friends in high school was a guy. People thought he was my baby daddy, but he just supported me and carried all my books, since we weren't allowed to carry bookbags. 




Do you like being around small children?
My own? Yes. Other peoples', not so much. Unless I know them well enough to tell them to STFU when they get annoying. I will take your baby from you. I give them back when they cry or leak, so don't worry.

Do you like yourself?
Ugh. This week? No. Not really. Most of the time, I like myself pretty well. 

Do you have a best friend?
Yes. She is the Ann to my ifer. She's the cheese to my nachos. I really don't know what I would do without her.

Do you think your a good friend?
I'm ignoring the mistake and just answering the question.
I try to be a good friend. I'm there when you need me. I'm great in a crisis. However, if you don't respond to my calls/texts/emails, I'm not gonna keep trying. Friendship is a two-way street.

Do you listen to gossip?
Yeah, it's kinda hard not to. 

Do you think midgets are funny?
As opposed to what? If someone is funny, they are funny, no matter the size.

Do you feel sorry for fat people?
I feel bad that society judges them so harshly. 

Is it funny when someone falls?
I will ALWAYS be laughing as I pick you up and ask if you're okay.  But most of the time I'm drunk when someone falls. 

Do you like animals?
Yes. If I could, I would adopt every animal I see. 

Do you help people alot?
Help with what? I try to be courteous to strangers. I will help my friends with whatever they ask of me. 

Do you do random nice things for people?
Sometimes. I filled out this survey for you and made you giggle. You're welcome.

Hopefully, after this weekend I'll be back to my usual snark and can write about something happy. And here's my random photo!

source: LittleFriends Photos

Friday Fluff

Link up with Seeking Elevation for more Friday Fluff!

Stranded in a forest alone
Find the nearest werewolf to save me

Sensed someone stalking you
Hope there was a mind reading vampire ALSO stalking me

You suddenly developed superhuman strength
Wrestle with Emmett

You saw a dead cat
Hope a kid isn't missing it?

You saw a dead human
Be at a funeral. Or working in a hospital.

Someone anonymously send a love note
Well, hopefully, it would be my husband. I think I'd be kinda creeped out if I got an anonymous love note. I did have someone leave me an anonymous rose on my car once. Never did figure out who it was. 

You become blind
Oooh! I'd get a seeing eye dog!

Your car breaks down beside a graveyard
Call the husband. Not sure what significance a graveyard has; am I supposed to be scared?

Your bestfriend calls you at 4am
There are two scenarios: Go get her drunk ass at whatever bar she was calling me from or B: Tell her to go fuck herself for calling me at 4am. Wait-I guess it depends on WHY she's calling me at 4am.

You could bring back anyone from 6 feet under
Hmm. That's a tough one. I've never known anyone close enough to want to bring them back. Sure, some relatives, but they all lived a long life and were in pain. But, I guess my grandmere. I'd want her to teach me all the things she knew.

Someone kept staring at you
Stare back. Or start picking my nose. Or make kissy faces. Yeah, kissy faces.


Someone ate your lunch
Why are they eating my lunch? Was it that good?

You're at a stranger's funeral
Stupid question. Why would I be at a stranger's funeral? It'd be awkward.

You got 100 free spray cans
Spray cans of what? Silly string? I'd spray that shit everywhere. Spray cans of cheese? I'd be the fattest woman alive.

A horse came chasing after you
Do I smell like carrots? Why the fuck would a horse be chasing me?

And here's my picture: Yes. This actually happened. 

Yes, I flew across the country to visit Forks, the home of Twilight

Wherein I Fluff

It's Friday Fluff time again! Go here to link up with Seeking Elevation and to see next week's quiz!

Have you ever flirted with your best friend's bf/gf?
Depends on your definition of boyfriend. We went on a group date, and he and I ended up hooking up. But she told me I could, so I don't feel guilty. But, otherwise, I guess. I'm southern, it's what we do.

Do you think that you're all that and your probably really not?
What does this even mean? Am I all what?


 Are you smart or are you dumb?

Book smart? Not really. But I do have common sense which a lot of people don't seem to have these days.


If you're a girl, do you scratch your boobs when nobody's looking?
If I only scratched when no one's looking, I'd never scratch them. Someone is ALWAYS watching.

Have you ever wanted to have sex with your own gender?
Yes. Hey, Emma Stone gimme a call ;)

Are you liking this survey so far?
It hasn't bought me a drink, so no.

Do you have alot of friends or are you nobody at school?
I'm not in school. But in my School of Awesome? I'm the head cheese

Are you annoying to most people?
Define 'most people'. The public at large? Probably not. I try to stay out of the way. My kids and husband might say something different.

Can you take the truth, no matter what it is?
I don't know. What weight class is he in?

Would you go suicidal if someone in your family died?
No. And this question is dumb.

Is there somebody in your life you hate at this point?
Why? Was truth talking about me again?

Are you dreading something right now?
Who is this something? Is he threatening me?


While taking this, did you start thinking about your true self?
Nope. She took a vacation last spring and I haven't seen her since.

Would you date somebody on Valentine's Day just to get something for Valentine's?
I'm married and I don't get shit for Valentine's Day. So yes. As long as it was sparkly. Or chocolate.

Have you ever broke somebody's heart and didn't care?
No, it was Nobody's heart. He's a wily bastard.

Did you go to Pre-K?
Dude. That was so long ago. I don't remember if I put pants on this morning. *looks down* Nope.

And, since I didn't know about the tradition of adding a picture on at the end last week, I'll start this week. Today is The Boy's 6th birthday, I'll leave you with this gem: