Wherein I ramble about the weather

Things are going well here in the Tookel household. Now that the sun is shining more, I feel happier. I always fights with the SADs and am so glad when I can open my windows and feel the fresh air blow through. Listen to the birds. Hope for the bird family to return to my porch (and not my dryer). Driving with the windows rolled down and music blasting. Ahhh, summer.

Yeah, I said summer. I live in coastal South Carolina. We have two seasons:summer and not summer (also known as fall). People here freak out if the temperature is gonna be below 50 degrees. Snow? Forget about it. If there's a forecast of possible snow, schools get delayed (sometimes cancelled), the city offices shut down, people buy bread, milk and cereal like it's the end of days. It's kinda crazy.

I do love this time of year. Everything is new again. Feels like nothing can go wrong. Then full summer hits and all you wanna do is hang on the air conditioner vents and never go outside. *Sigh* When we move to Connecticut, I'll miss it. But only because it's closer to 'home' for me.

Wherein I tell you about my friend

My friend, Min-di

This was going to be a Wordless Wednesday post, but I needed to get these words out.

This picture is of one of my dearest friends, Mindy. She is one of the most beautiful, strong, determined women I know.She doesn't take your crap, and gives the shirt off her back to help a friend. She's also a fellow Navy Wife, so that makes her fan-fucking-tastic anyway. (And the rockin' body ain't bad, either!)

A few months ago, her mom found out she had breast cancer. (And I'm not writing this to garner sympathy for her or her family.) Mindy has handled this news like no one I've seen. With minimal ugly cries, she has been there for her mom while moving from South Carolina to Hawaii. Then, after her mom finished chemo and was gearing up for a double mastectomy and augmentation, she returned to her home state and is staying with her mom during recovery. This is all within about a 6mos (or less, time is wonky for me) time period. While in Hawaii, she took on the role of her husband's boat's Ombudsman, the person who is the go-between for the wives and the ship's command and is the point of contact while the boat is underway. This is not an easy job and I'll explain that in a later post.

She is a rock and I am proud to call her my friend.

When I grow up, I don't wanna be famous or rich. I wanna be like Mindy.


PS-Annie, you know I still love you, right?

Wherein I got nothing much goin' on

It's been kinda quiet in the Tookel Household lately. We're slowly getting ready for moving. Making lists of stuff that we want to move ourselves (The Navy will pay for movers to do everything) and we don't want to get broken or lost. You know, things like our computers and personal files. I mean, we're less than 3 months away, so we're trying to be prepared. Since we're having the Navy move us, there are specific things we have to do before the movers come. Anything we're taking ourselves has to be in a separate, marked, area. They won't pack batteries, candles, cleaning supplies, or anything out of the refrigerator or freezer. We have to clean the house before we leave and make some minor repairs. We've lived here for 3 years-so it's just things like a hole in the wall where The Boy pulled the curtains down. Or the siding where the neighbors shot fireworks off in the road and burned a hole. You know. Minor wear and tear stuff. Stuff that gets filed in the "one day" folder. Non-urgent, but needs to be done, so we can get back our security deposit. Ugh.

Also, I've been slowly, but surely, reading and auditing resource pages over at Band Back Together. Check 'em out, yo. They're pretty rad.

At night, I've been a doing a little social media. Catching up with old friends, making new ones and starting rumours about people being pregnant. Good times, good times. Click on my twitter button in the sidebar and come join in the fun!

Wherein I tell you about the GOBC

This past weekend, EM and 3 of his buddies went on a 'Manvival' weekend. They picked a spot out in the Georgia woods in the Chattahoochee National Forest, to be exact. They were allowed to bring only what they could carry in their packs.

Theses 4 men are good friends. They play poker together, they play video games together and enjoy each others' company. They all work together and at one point, someone referred to them as the 'Good Ol' Boys Club.' So, they named themselves that. The GOBC. They have hats and everything. The like talking guns and hunting and outdoorsy men type things. However, the main reason they like doing this stuff? The coming Zombie Apocalypse/Fall of Government. They want to be prepared for these types of events. Twice they have gone off into the woods with minimal equipment to brave the elements. The first time didn't go so well. They lasted less than 24 hours, mostly due to the torrential downpour of rain. There are pictures and it looks like they are walking under a waterfall.

This past weekend was much better. It didn't rain, except on the hike out. However, it was FREEZING cold. Since 'what you can put in your pack' doesn't include tents or sleeping bags, they brought tarps to provide themselves with shelter. The first night, they all slept with the tin foil emergency blankets and still nearly froze. The second night, they hiked back to the truck and brought back sleeping bags. And still nearly froze. They built fires close to their tarp city; so close, in fact, EM's tarp came back with holes burnt in it.

I don't know why they do this. When I ask, it's usually some response about it being 'fun' and 'educational'. I call bullshit. Nearly freezing to death and sleeping on hard ground is NOT my idea of fun. Give me a comfy bed and room service any day.

Wherein I tell you about my dreams

I'm linking up with Band Back Together today for their Monday Dose of Happy. A dream was my DOH today. (Or last night, but whatevs. It made me happy).

I have weird dreams. I very rarely remember them, but lately, I've been having.some doozies.
Last night, for example. I didn't fall asleep until almost 1am. I stayed up watching the Bloggies and the Oscars. And I forgot to take my medicine, so you know. Whatevs.

Anyway-dream. I was dating Jonah Hill. He was taking me on a date and surprised me by having a bunch of.my friends over to a restaurant (that was really someone's house). The only person I remember being there is someone I don't like. And I kinda told her off. She's all "I'm the best mommy in the world! My daughter is perfect! Look what I got today! A new stripper pole!" (And that's in real life, not my dream). So, I might have bitched her out. And made her cry. (In my dream.)

Anyway, I had to go back to my house for some reason. And as I turned a corner, there's Jonah, escorting my BFF and my big, dopey dog. (BFF was wearing a beautiful black pink white ball gown). And I tackled her cause I was so excited to see her.  She went on to the restaurant, 'cause I still had to go back to my house for some shit.  So, Jonah took me back to my house. Maybe we were taking the dog back. I was holding his collar, and running in heels. Jonah and I were having a conversation about exercising and running. I told him to try running in heels. When we got back to my house, my other really good friend was there, Shortie. She was supposed to be coming to dinner, but she was helping ET and her husband get the kids ready for bed.

Next thing I know, it's daytime. ET is asking me for Bisquick (thanks, Ryan Seacrest) to cover up the smell of a dead body. (I know there is some real chemical that does this. I don't know the name of it, nor do I really care). For whatever reason, he had found a body in the downstairs apartment of my house. Then, everyone starts talking about all the little old ladies that have been found around the city. They've all been killed, tortured, bound. Really weird shit. They died trying to escape.  ET found this one body because she had written a note on the window in her own blood. Kinda gross. Maybe I've been watching too much SVU or something.

So, later in the day, I meet up with Jonah (or maybe this was before dinner. My dream timing is really weird. Scenes change all the time.) We decided to go to some dance/karate/exercise class. The public had discovered we were dating, so there were people everywhere trying to talk to me, talk to Jonah, get into this class, so they could see us together. It was really odd. There were no paparazzi, though. So, we go into this class and it's taught by Mr. B (who is The Boy's karate teacher). And to introduce people to the class, he throws a bucket of water on them. He throws one on Jonah and me, and Jonah is being all sweet about it. Trying to shield me from the brunt of the water. We're giggling, having a good time. Then we start arguing about a hair tie. I KNEW I had given him one to put in his pocket, and he'd lost it. I wanted to put my hair up, damnit. He was still really sweet, apologizing and asking girls around us if they had an extra one. I find one on the floor, put my hair up and then woke up. I was kinda sad to wake up. Even sitting here thinking about the dream, I get the little butterflies in my stomach, remembering the sweetness of new romance and the thrill of dating a movie star.

These are the kinds of dreams I have, people.

Friday Fluff

It's Friday Fluff time again! Go to Seeking Elevation and grab a quiz and let the snark and sarcasm fly!

Do you think people are good?
At what? Being people? Some people are great at being people. Others? Not so much.

Do you like meeting people?
Depends on the situation. Random people on the street are kinda creepy. I do like meeting new friends, though!

Do you shake hands?
Yes. I'm not rich enough to not shake hands. When I get that first million-never again!!

Is a good handshake important?
Um. Yes? I'm not really a big business person, so I think the offer is important. EM will tell you it's rude not to shake hands.

Do you get along with the oposite sex?
Mostly, yes. One of my best friends in high school was a guy. People thought he was my baby daddy, but he just supported me and carried all my books, since we weren't allowed to carry bookbags. 




Do you like being around small children?
My own? Yes. Other peoples', not so much. Unless I know them well enough to tell them to STFU when they get annoying. I will take your baby from you. I give them back when they cry or leak, so don't worry.

Do you like yourself?
Ugh. This week? No. Not really. Most of the time, I like myself pretty well. 

Do you have a best friend?
Yes. She is the Ann to my ifer. She's the cheese to my nachos. I really don't know what I would do without her.

Do you think your a good friend?
I'm ignoring the mistake and just answering the question.
I try to be a good friend. I'm there when you need me. I'm great in a crisis. However, if you don't respond to my calls/texts/emails, I'm not gonna keep trying. Friendship is a two-way street.

Do you listen to gossip?
Yeah, it's kinda hard not to. 

Do you think midgets are funny?
As opposed to what? If someone is funny, they are funny, no matter the size.

Do you feel sorry for fat people?
I feel bad that society judges them so harshly. 

Is it funny when someone falls?
I will ALWAYS be laughing as I pick you up and ask if you're okay.  But most of the time I'm drunk when someone falls. 

Do you like animals?
Yes. If I could, I would adopt every animal I see. 

Do you help people alot?
Help with what? I try to be courteous to strangers. I will help my friends with whatever they ask of me. 

Do you do random nice things for people?
Sometimes. I filled out this survey for you and made you giggle. You're welcome.

Hopefully, after this weekend I'll be back to my usual snark and can write about something happy. And here's my random photo!

source: LittleFriends Photos

Wherein I word vomit about moving

This week has been an emotional week from hell. I won't go into specific details: we'll just go with hormones and depression. I hate being a girl sometimes.

Today also marks less than 100 days until our move to Connecticut. I'm excited to be moving, again. While South Carolina will always be where I'm "from" and "home" none of my family lives here. I don't live in my hometown, so I don't see people I know. I really have no desire to see people I went to high school with (excluding a few). Plus, I really dislike big cities. We live about 20-30 minutes from downtown Charleston. There are 3 pretty major universities within spitting distance. There are just too many damn people. And, while I enjoy the company of individuals, masses of people everywhere give me the hives and make me all ChibiSMASH. (Shout out to my homegirl, Chibi!) Again: too many damn people in an area not meant to accommodate them. Swamps, marshes, beaches and riverfront property are NOT meant to be built upon.

Ok, so back to the topic: Moving. For those not in the know, military moving is a big game of hurry up and wait. Example: We went to the Housing office to apply for housing in CT (we're currently living off base and will be moving into base housing in CT). We fill out the paperwork, the Housing office here faxes it to the Housing office in CT. The CT Housing people contact us and say: "Thanks for applying. We'll send your paperwork to Privatized Company in charge of assigning you a house when you're 60 days out from needing keys. And there might be a waiting list. But we won't know until you leave your current command." Basically, we're hoping they have a house in the area we want when we show up for keys. If not, we have to take what they have. The house we want: 1600-2000 sq ft. House we could end up with: 1100 sq feet. FOR THE SAME PRICE. I think that last bit is what really gets me. When you live in military housing, your rent is equal to your Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH). Your BAH depends on rank. So if you live in a duplex, your neighbor may be paying hundreds of dollars more or less than you. For the same house.

Now, don't get me wrong: I'm grateful for this life. I'm grateful to everyone who pays their taxes so my husband gets paid. I'm grateful for a housing allowing. Sometimes, I really hate the hoops and red tape we have to jump through to do something that seems so simple. 

Wow. So that was some word vomit. I'd apologize, but it's my blog and I'll do what I want. I'm just really frustrated with the whole process. You go to one department and get one story. Another department, different story. It also changes every day, so what you remember from moving last time, doesn't apply to moving this time.

Update: The waves are still there. Today more of a constant push and pull than crashing down around me.

Wherein this week might be all depressing

Everyone and their mother had off Monday for President's Day (sorry, Canada). We took the kids to the House of Mouse and let them run around. Another couple was there and we had a good time. The cloud seemed to have lifted for awhile. I came home and used that energy to do some research and stuffs for Band Back Together. I did some laundry. EM took our truck to get a tire fixed. The kids were in their post pizza/coin coma and were letting me do stuffs.

Then, things calmed down. I had finished what I wanted to finish for The Band for a bit. All my emails were answered. Not much going on on The Facebook or The Twitter.

And the cloud descended again. It always seems to be lingering there in the background and when I calm down and sit still, it crashes down on me like a wave. I see it in the distance, coming towards me. I can jump it or dive under it, but it's going to get me. And pull me under.

Wherein I urgh

Depression can kiss my lily white ass. I haven't been around here lately because of it. I sleep all day. I'm awake, for the most part, between 3 and 11pm. Most of that time is spent laying in bed because I feel so tired. I don't wanna do anything. I don't want to talk to anyone. I force myself to go to the gym, take my kids to karate and dance. I try to focus on what  EM is saying to me, but it's hard. I feel like crying for no apparent reason. I'm not hungry, but I eat everything in site. I don't want to play with my dogs. I look around the house and see all the things that need to be done, but I can't work up the energy to do them. I don't care that The Boy is eating chicken nuggets. Again. I don't wanna cook. I don't want to do anything but lay in my bed, feeling sorry for myself, hating myself for being overweight, hating myself for not being the wife/mother/daughter/sister my family thinks I should be.
I hate these days. I hate these feelings. The drugs make it better than it could be, but some days it's still not enough.
I'm gonna go hide under the covers some more. Maybe the bastard won't find me there.

Wherein I relive a memory

Whitney Houston's death was tragic. Everyone is speculating on how she died, assuming it was an overdose. Until an autopsy has been performed, we won't know. I'm not gonna jump on the all drugs are bad bandwagon. It's been done.

I, along with millions of others, will always love her music. She was a great artist. Her music touched people.

Whitney will always hold a special place in my heart and soul. When I was 4(ish), I was in a preschool/daycare called Busy Bee. At the end of the year, I was picked to do a presentation at our "graduation" ceremony: singing along to "Greatest Love of All." I practiced for weeks. I thought I was hot shit (and I was). Sang it in my bedroom, hairbrush mic and all. I can still see the crowd of parents in front of me as I was singing. It was a wonderful day. That is the Whitney that will always live on in my mind. Singing backup for a 4-year-old preschool graduate.
"No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity." Whitney Houston, 1963-2012

Wherein I got nothin'

We bought a car on Saturday. 2011 Ford Fusion, if you really care.
Bunco was Saturday night, and while we didn't actually play we sat around and shot the shit for 5 hours and it was grand. It was during this we learned that Whitney Houston died. More on that later.
Sunday was quiet. Just hanging around the house.
Today, since EM was off, we did a bunch of errands to get our shit together to move in a few months. Let me tell you, it's a pain in the ass. Go to Base Housing, fill out an application for housing in CT, fax application to CT, wait a few days, call Base Housing in CT so they can refer us to the privatized housing office in CT so we can get a freakin' house. Ugh. Paperwork galore.

That's all I got today. I'll post something more prolific tomorrow.

Wherein I complain some more

*written immediately after class Wednesday night*
I did something I swore I would never do. Spin Class. My friend JL went with me and I really wanted to punch the instructor every time she said turn up the resistance. Or go faster. Or do anything other than sit on that skinny, atomic wedgie giving machine and pedal slowly with no resistance. Seriously, I may have to go to the doctor to remove my underwear from the crack of my ass.
My other friend, Min-die, is all about spinning. Well. I tried it. And I may never be the same.

*written on Thursday*
Now, that I've (mostly) recovered, I'll say it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be going in. My ass is chapped from going up and down. It hurt to walk today. I still wanna buy a fat butt seat with some actual cushioning, but I may mix spin up with kickboxing. Now, that class, I loved. It was fun, the instructor was Scottish, or something, so all of her instructions sounded fancy. I need more cardio in my workout routine, so spin and kickboxing are added to the list. I've also gotten an interval class in there, so I'm getting a cardio with some resistance training. I am trying to make it to the gym, in some way, shape or form, at least 4 times a week. So far, I've got Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays going. But, 3 of those 4 things have resistance/weight training. I want to tone, but also need to lose weight. And cardio is the weigh (see what I did there?) for me to do that. And by the time I remember I wanted to go to yoga, it's noon. I'll have to set an alarm or something.

Wherein I need a favor

Em and I sat down over the weekend and discussed finances. I know, sexy, right? Anyway, we're trying to cut back on our eating out expenses. It's our biggest expense right now, mostly because I hate cooking. Well, let me rephrase that: I don't enjoy cooking. I have a few recipes that are standbys: lasagna, spaghetti, tacos, shake-n-back chicken/pork, or sausage w/ mac and cheese. They're pretty easy to make and don't require a lot of thought on my part.

So, what do I need from you? What are your standby recipes? I also don't like shopping and often forget I have fresh vegetables in the drawer until they go bad. The Boy is somewhat picky, but has to try whatever gets put on his plate and usually will eat it. I don't go in for that whole "I'm making supper A for me and EM and supper B for the kids." They eat what I cook. If they have tried it and still don't like it, they make themselves chicken nuggets or a sandwich.

So send me some recipes. Maybe I'll find I do enjoy cooking. (stop laughing now)

Wherein I tell you about teevee

Unlike your Aunt Becky, I don't have TV husbands. I'd rather have an affair and leave when I'm done. I do love my TV though. The invention of the DVR was the best thing to ever happen to me, since I can't remember what show comes on when. And they change it all the damn time, so I get confused.

I have so many shows on my DVR, it's not funny. I record shows like there's no tomorrow. At one point, we were recording ALLLLL the episodes on Law&Order and SVU that came on. In case you didn't know, there's a marathon of SVU on every Tuesday and Sunday. And TNT shows regular L&O every day. We'd frequently have 20-30 episodes on the DVR at any given time. We stopped doing that, mostly because we'd seen them all. Yep. All 20 years of L&O and all 13 years of SVU. I still record the new ones that come on, but no longer watch old episodes.

I love TV. It's always on. When I'm home, the TV is on. I know, it rots the brain, makes you have the dumb, whatever. It soothes me. It puts me to sleep at night (which drives EM nuts), and is there when I wake up. I usually have on a movie; mostly because daytime TV sucks. I currently have about 15 movies recorded specifically to make me go to sleep at night. The American President, Chicago, How to Train Your Dragon, Easy A are just a few of my old standbys. If I try to watch something I haven't seen, it'll keep me up. I need to watch something I've seen w23093409fdslw3r9dsf times before. That way I don't have to pay attention to it, but it helps focus my mind on something other than my To Do list. My brain doesn't like to shut up and let me sleep. So, I take my meds, put on an old movie and sleep.

My mother is the same way; only for her the movies only come in black and white. So, at least I come by it honestly!

Wherein I give you a Dose of Happy

I'm linking up today with Band Back Together for a Dose of Happy Monday.


My DOH is short but sweet this week:

TAXES ARE DONE!! Woo to the hoo!!

Doing taxes is always a big thing for me. I don't know why. I always think I'm gonna fuck something up and the IRS is gonna busting through my door and take everything I own. EM has to be with me when I do them. We have one income. We don't own a house. We don't pay taxes on cars (because they are registered under EM's name and he's not 'technically' a resident of the state we live in). We don't qualify for any of the low income tax benefits. We didn't have child care expenses (this year). Our taxes are probably the simplest ones to be done. It still makes me anxious.

But! They are done. For another year!

What's your Dose of Happy?